Is something missing in your life? Do you long for a sound mind and lasting peace? Do you want simplicity, but always receive trials and heartache? Is there a longing in your heart, a void that can't be filled? That's how I felt eight years ago when the Most High saved me from suicide and taught me my purpose.
I was lost, hopeless, depressed, surrounded by darkness and confusion. In life I had the things that I thought I wanted, but was always left empty. I wondered what was wrong with me, why I couldn't be seemingly "happy" like everyone else, am I broken, damaged, defective? What was missing?
Well, it was the love of Yah, our Creator and His will for my life.
I remember that day as if it was yesterday. The pain that was too much for me to bear, the longing in my heart to live, but the crushing pain of hopelessness. I didn't want to die, but I felt as if I couldn't go on any longer. I chose that day to end my life, and right before I was going to, I cried out in tears to the Creator with all of my heart, in anger and desperation. WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?!
*A soft whisper ... an unfamiliar calm ... a gentle yet authoritative voice ...* LILY, I HAVE GREAT PLANS FOR YOU. TRUST ME. DONT DO THIS. I WANT TO GIVE YOU LIFE. I WILL GIVE YOU CHILDREN. I WILL GUIDE YOU WHERE YOU WILL LIVE. YOUR PURPOSE IS TO LOVE ME AND BE LOVED BY ME. READ MY WORD AND YOU WILL FIND ME AND KNOW YOUR FULL PURPOSE.
I wept bitterly in that moment, an uncontrollable crying until my tears dried up. I chose life. I chose to trust Him as He had commanded me to. Everything came to pass, and now it's been eight years. I have three beautiful children. I lived exactly where He showed me I would when He spoke with me. I moved from there eventually and now I travel the country with my family. He gave me life.
When I started to read His Word for myself, I couldn't put the book down. I was falling in love with Him, His Words, His promises, the care that He put into His creation, and the compassionate Fatherly love that it whispered to me. I stayed up late for days, reading deep into the night for hours upon hours, just soaking up everything that I could. I started to pray throughout my days. I started to feel my relationship with Him growing stronger. I realized that my purpose really was to love Him and be loved by Him. Through reading His Word, I saw that the whole reason we were created, was for His pleasure, so that we could be His children, so that He could bless us and we would glorify Him.
I saw that as a Father should, He had rules for His children, in how we should act, how we should talk, what we should eat, the way we should be praying, special appointed times that He wants to celebrate with us weekly and yearly, a wealth of carefully thought out instructions so that we can have the best life possible and use His creation how it was intended ... OUR PURPOSE!
